Something has started to weigh on my mind recently.
I really enjoy going through the web archive, looking at old blogs, or websites. I find it really fun to look back and to try to save the little bits of history that survived through time.
As an old school lolita, I’m sure many others too understand that feeling, of nostalgia, when looking through an old blog. I suppose even a sweet lolita would understand that feeling looking at the hey-days of split wigs and milky planet.
Nostalgia is such a weird feeling. I know I was not around for either of those times, yet I still long for them. I want to have been around, and experienced everything. I know old school is having a moment now, but it’s not the same. Whatever has a revival, it will never be the same as the original.
I should try to enjoy things for what they are now, I suppose, and live in the present. I mean, I can’t say I’m not glad it’s so easy to access brand, old scans and things others have been preserved through time. I can, and do, enjoy these things in the present. But sometimes, just sometimes, I have a longing to really have been there. I know everything is seen with rose coloured glasses when you look back. And perhaps in 10 to 20 years this moment will be rose coloured too.
And that brings me to thoughts of the future. I look back at daily_lolita on egl, or old livejournals and blogspots that have been left abandoned since 2008 and I wonder what will things be like 10 years from now? Will I still wear lolita? Although ten years isn’t the longest time perhaps, I’ll be 32 and maybe I won’t wear lolita as much, or at all. And I hate to think that, because there’s so many more coords I want to wear and so many dresses I want to own. But, moving on at some point may be inevitable.
How will things be in 20 years time? Looking at old GLB street snaps that are nearly 20 years old by now, reading a lolita’s current obsession or what her plans were for that day, it’s almost quite surreal. 20 years later someone might be reading this, or my blog, or looking at my snaps and wondering where I am.
It’s almost a fearful feeling, to think of the future so far ahead. I shouldn’t be afraid, but I am, a little. I know I should look forward to it though. Ironically one of the things I enjoy the most about reading an abandoned lolita blog is the open endedness. Maybe she still owns some lolita. Maybe it’s never really over.
I have faith that lolita fashion will survive the next 20 years. I mean it’s lasted over 20 already, and as we know, most j-fashions are short lived. Lolita fashion is something that can and will always adapt and change. It can’t and won’t stay the same forever. So, I wonder, what will lolita look like in 10 to 20 years? Will we get OTT sweet back? Will old school become so popular new releases actually start to look like they used to? I don’t know, but I should be excited to see.
For now, I should live in the present. I can still enjoy things from the past, and I can still ponder about the future. But, I shouldn’t let it get to me so much. For now I love lolita.